Solutions for Living: Top 2 Rules for Successful Parenting

Face it. Parenting is tough! What other role do you

play that requires your every attention from morning til

night for almost twenty years. One day we're convinced

we've got it all figured out only to be forced to reach for

a new level of patience the next. One day one kid rises

to new heights while the other falls apart. It's all worth it

though because on those days or should I say during

those moments when everyone gets along and all is

right with the world, there is no better feeling on Earth.

So how do we stack the deck as parents so those

days are more often than not? Well, today I'm going to

answer that question!

I’ve had the pleasure of raising those three young

boys in the above photo along with the one I was

carrying in my tummy : ) and watching them grow up to

become caring, productive, conscientious and happy

young men. I have talked parenting with lots of friends

and I have to say, these two rules were a huge help in

my household!

1 - Be yourself.

In order to really understand this rule we have to

establish the difference between you and all the roles

you play. Yes, you are a parent but that is not who you

are. You play the role of a mom, a dad, a caregiver, a

nurse, a volunteer, a chaperone, a mentor, a spouse, a

pet owner, a financial wizard, a fitness expert.... well

done, by the way! But that is not who you are.

You are who you were before you played most of

those roles. You are who you were when you were

born. A very specific kind of person filled with

confidence and a tenacity toward being optimistic!

Sometimes we find ourselves being like our parents

or like an aunt or an opinion leader. But when we do

that, we deprive our kids of knowing who we really are.

Let's take a look at the definition of 'parent' in its

verb form to understand this idea better.

PARENT: be or act as a parent to (a child)

Be or act as...

Have you ever said something to one of your kids

and thought, "Oh my goodness, I sound just like my

mom or I sound just like my dad. Or even more

interestingly... acting like them! It's easy to do. It's in

those moments that we must recognize it and step

back and try again.

On a similar note....

Successful parenting has everything to do with

preparing your children for the future, right? . The

question is what are you preparing them for? Are you

preparing them to be themselves and make a place for

themselves in the world or are you preparing them to

be the roles they play?

We all know that it’s a given…kids learn by example.

So, your greatest example to set for your kids is to

show them the value of being themselves so they can

be confident in who they are!

There is so much pressure from the outside to be

this or that, it’s at home where kids shake off those

pressures and remember who they are. They learn by

watching you be yourself! Let them see that sparkle

that makes you so wonderfully you! : )

I’m not saying throw out the rules and be their friend

because I am not. I am saying, when you enforce the

rules be you. Don’t be the idea of a “mom” or a "dad".

When you teach them something new, be you, don't be

that idea of how a teacher would do it. When you help

them with their homework, be you!

Too often, we lose ourselves in the roles that we

play as though those roles are more important. This is,

without question, untrue!

You are magnificent! Share that with your kids! They

deserve it!

2 - Be consistent

If you establish a rule. It’s always a rule. If you

establish a reward. It’s always a reward. If you say you

are going to be there. Be there.

I'm sure this isn't the first time you've heard this tip.

But why? Why is being consistent so important?

It's because consistency establishes two very

important things for your kids.

The first is…. TRUST

A child learns how to trust and they learn how to not

trust. We are addressing Step 2 Define the Rules and

Step 3 Master Your Craft here. These are two of the

steps in any area of life that will help us create a life

filled with confidence, order, and effortlessness...we call this artistry!

Knowing the rules helps us win when we play

games. It is the same in being a successful parent. If

your kids know the rules, they learn that if they follow

them they can trust that for the most part life will go as

scheduled. If they follow the rules of riding a bike, they

trust they will be safe. If they follow the rules about

phone usage or computer time, then they can trust that

they will earn the right to do those things again. Living

a life without rules might sound fun but in the end, we

realize that there is no game to be won and what is

created is lost time, upset, and chaos.

The second is….HOW TO PREDICT

So many kids are nervous simply because they can’t

predict anything. Everything feels so random in life and

this causes a feeling of being unsettled and nervous.

When you are consistent, your kids come to

understand what is expected in life. Knowing what is

expected in life creates an opportunity for kids to be

able to predict what’s coming. If they break the rules

they know there will be consequences. If they do great

things, they also know there will be consequences;

good ones!

Prediction is also important because it allows your

child to learn the skills they need to make choices. And

we all know that choices are what creates their future.

Think about how you use your ability to predict to

make good choices to keep your kids safe.You know

every Thursday the bigger kids are at the park and they

are rowdier than you like, so you choose not to take the

kids to the park on Thursdays. You are able to do that

because you are able to predict the schedule of the

older kids.

We don’t often think about these types of things but

in the end, those parents who seem to have it all

together know that successful parenting depends on

them.

So, how do these two rules make our lives better

and more organized so we can be the parents we know

we can be?

The more you follow these 2 rules for successful

parenting, the more stable your household becomes.

Why? Because you CREATED the stability, the trust

and the confidence for your kids. : )

The more a child trusts you, the more they can trust

themselves. The more they trust themselves, the more

they can make good choices. The more they make

good choices, the calmer they become, hence the

calmer your household becomes and the more you can

be that parent who seems to have it all together! : )

By remembering to be there as you AND by being

consistent, you are doing the work on the front end so

your entire family can enjoy the time created, the calm,

and the stability on the backend. Everybody wins!

Being a parent is a sacred role that we all cherish.

It’s so much easier to be a parent when you remember

that you are what makes being their parent so special!

Remember, you can achieve artistry in any area of

life; including being a parent. If you do, that makes you

an artist! I see it.

If you're interested in finding out more about how to

be you : ) check out my online course, The Purpose of

Purpose! Put the driving force behind what makes you

beautiful, powerful, and valuable into words so you can

live the life you know you should!

With Great Love,

Annie

I'd love to know your tips!

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