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Solutions for Living: Top 2 Rules for Successful Parenting

Updated: Aug 8

Annie and three of her boys sitting at counter in kitchen

Face it. Parenting is tough! What other role do you

play that requires your every attention from morning til

night for almost twenty years. One day we're convinced

we've got it all figured out only to be forced to reach for

a new level of patience the next. One day one kid rises

to new heights while the other falls apart. It's all worth it

though because on those days or should I say during

those moments when everyone gets along and all is

right with the world, there is no better feeling on Earth.

So how do we stack the deck as parents so those

days are more often than not? Well, today I'm going to

answer that question!

Here Are The Top 2 Rules For Successful Parenting!

I’ve had the pleasure of raising those three young

boys in the above photo along with the one I was

carrying in my tummy : ) and watching them grow up to

become caring, productive and happy young men. I

have talked parenting with lots of friends and I have to

say, these two rules were a huge help in my household!

Rule Number 1 of Successful Parenting

1 - Be yourself.

In order to really understand this rule we have to

establish the difference between you and all the roles

you play. Yes, you are a parent but that is not who you

are. You play the role of a mom, a dad, a caregiver, a

nurse, a volunteer, a chaperone, a mentor, a spouse, a

pet owner, a financial wizard, a fitness expert.... well

done, by the way! But that is not who you are.

You are who you were before you played most of

those roles. You are who you were when you were

born. A very specific kind of wonderful!

Sometimes we find ourselves being like our parents

or like an aunt or an opinion leader. But when we do

that, we deprive our kids of knowing us. Yes, we need

to take those valuable lessons we've learned from those

we trust in our lives, but we must remember to

incorporate their wisdom as ourselves.

Let's take a look at the definition of 'parent' in its verb

form to understand this idea better.

PARENT: be or act as a parent to (a child)

Be or act as...

Have you ever said something to one of your kids

and thought oh my goodness, I sound just like my mom

or I sound just like my dad. Or even more interestingly....

acting like them! It's easy to do. It's in those moments

that we must recognize it and step back and try again.

On a similar note....

Successful parenting has everything to do with

preparing your children for the future, right? . The

question is what are you preparing them for? Are you

preparing them to be themselves and make a place for

themselves in the world or are you preparing them to be

the roles they play?

4 brothers sit on a sofa all dressed up for halloween

We all know that it’s a given…kids learn by example.

So, your greatest example to set for your kids is to show

them the value of being themselves.

There is so much pressure from the outside to be this

or be that, it’s at home where kids shake off those

pressures and remember who they are. They learn by

watching you be yourself! Let them see that sparkle

that makes you so wonderfully you! : )

I’m not saying throw out the rules and be their friend

because I am not. I am saying, when you enforce the

rules be you. Don’t be the idea of a “mom” or a "dad".

When you teach them something new, be you, don't be

that idea of how a teacher would do it. When you help

them with their homework, be you!

Too often, we lose ourselves in the roles that we play

as though those roles are more important. This is,

without question, untrue!

You are magnificent! Share that with your kids! They

deserve it!

Rule Number 2 of Successful Parenting

2 - Be consistent

If you establish a rule. It’s always a rule. If you

establish a reward. It’s always a reward. If you say you

are going to be there. Be there.

I'm sure this isn't the first time you've heard this tip.

But why? Why is being consistent so important?

It's because consistency establishes two very

important things for your kids.

The first is…. TRUST

Annie sitting on couch with arms around her son, Chase who is holding a panda bear.

A child learns how to trust and they learn how to not

trust. We are addressing Step 2 Define the Rules and

Step 3 Master Your Craft here. These are two of the

steps in any area of life that will help us create a life

filled with order and effortlessness...we call this artistry!

Knowing the rules helps us win when we play games.

It is the same in being a successful parent. If your kids

know the rules, they learn that if they follow them they

can trust that for the most part life will go as scheduled.

If they follow the rules of riding a bike, they trust

they will be safe. If they follow the rules about phone

usage or computer time, then they can trust that they

will earn the right to do those things again. Living a life

without rules might sound fun but in the end, we realize

that there is no game to be won and what is created is

lost time, upset, and chaos.

The second is….HOW TO PREDICT

So many kids are nervous simply because they can’t

predict anything. Everything feels so random in life and

this causes a feeling of being unsettled and nervous.

When you are consistent, your kids come to

understand what is expected in life. Knowing what is

expected in life creates an opportunity for kids to be

able to predict what’s coming. If they break the rules

they know there will be consequences. If they do great

things, they also know there will be consequences;

good ones!

Prediction is also important because it allows your

child to learn the skills they need to make choices. And

we all know that choices are what creates their future.

a green sign that reads, "choice" pointing to the left and below it is a red sign that reads, "choice" pointing to the right.  The signs are on a pole in front of a d house with with a white window and blue shutters. A flower box with pink flowers is below the window.

Think about how you use your ability to predict to

make good choices to keep your kids safe.You know

every Thursday the bigger kids are at the park and they

are rowdier than you like, so you choose not to take the

kids to the park on Thursdays. You are able to do that

because you are able to predict the schedule of the

older kids.

We don’t often think about these types of things but

in the end, those parents who seem to have it all

together know that successful parenting depends on


Let’s wrap it up!

So, how do these two rules make our lives better and

more organized so we can be the parents we know we

can be?

The more you follow these 2 rules for successful

parenting, the more stable your household becomes.

Why? Because you CREATED the stability, the trust and

the confidence for your kids. : )

The more a child trusts you, the more they can trust

themselves. The more they trust themselves, the more

they can make good choices. The more they make good

choices, the calmer they become, hence the calmer

your household becomes and the more you can be that

parent who seems to have it all together! : )

By remembering to be there as you AND by being

consistent, you are doing the work on the front end so

your entire family can enjoy the time created, the calm,

and the stability on the backend. Everybody wins!

Being a parent is a sacred role that we all cherish. It’s

so much easier to be a parent when you remember that

you are what makes being their parent so special!

Remember, you can achieve artistry in any area of

life; including being a parent. If you do, that makes you

an artist! I see it.

If you're interested in finding out more about how to

be you : ) check out my online course, The Purpose of

Purpose! Put the driving force behind what makes you

beautiful, powerful, and valuable into words so you can

live the life you know you should!

With Great Love,


I'd love to know your tips!

What are you tips for successful parenting?

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