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Solutions for Living: Top 2 Rules for Successful Parenting

Updated: Jan 24


Annie and three of her boys sitting at counter in kitchen


Face it. Parenting is tough! What other role do you


play that requires your every attention from morning til


night for almost twenty years. One day we're convinced


we've got it all figured out only to be forced to reach for


a new level of patience the next. One day one kid rises


to new heights while the other falls apart. It's all worth it


though because on those days or should I say during


those moments when everyone gets along and all is


right with the world, there is no better feeling on Earth.


So how do we stack the deck as parents so those


days are more often than not? Well, today I'm going to


answer that question!


Here Are The Top 2 Rules For Successful Parenting!


I’ve had the pleasure of raising those three young


boys in the above photo along with the one I was


carrying in my tummy : ) and watching them grow up to


become caring, productive, conscientious and happy


young men. I have talked parenting with lots of friends


and I have to say, these two rules were a huge help in


my household!



Rule Number 1 of Successful Parenting


1 - Be yourself.


In order to really understand this rule we have to


establish the difference between you and all the roles


you play. Yes, you are a parent but that is not who you


are. You play the role of a mom, a dad, a caregiver, a


nurse, a volunteer, a chaperone, a mentor, a spouse, a


pet owner, a financial wizard, a fitness expert.... well


done, by the way! But that is not who you are.


You are who you were before you played most of


those roles. You are who you were when you were


born. A very specific kind of person filled with


confidence and a tenacity toward being optimistic!


Sometimes we find ourselves being like our parents


or like an aunt or an opinion leader. But when we do


that, we deprive our kids of knowing who we really are.



Let's take a look at the definition of 'parent' in its


verb form to understand this idea better.


PARENT: be or act as a parent to (a child)


Be or act as...

Have you ever said something to one of your kids


and thought, "Oh my goodness, I sound just like my


mom or I sound just like my dad. Or even more


interestingly... acting like them! It's easy to do. It's in


those moments that we must recognize it and step


back and try again.


On a similar note....


Successful parenting has everything to do with


preparing your children for the future, right? . The


question is what are you preparing them for? Are you


preparing them to be themselves and make a place for


themselves in the world or are you preparing them to


be the roles they play?



4 brothers sit on a sofa all dressed up for halloween

We all know that it’s a given…kids learn by example.


So, your greatest example to set for your kids is to


show them the value of being themselves so they can


be confident in who they are!


There is so much pressure from the outside to be


this or that, it’s at home where kids shake off those


pressures and remember who they are. They learn by


watching you be yourself! Let them see that sparkle


that makes you so wonderfully you! : )


I’m not saying throw out the rules and be their friend


because I am not. I am saying, when you enforce the


rules be you. Don’t be the idea of a “mom” or a "dad".


When you teach them something new, be you, don't be


that idea of how a teacher would do it. When you help


them with their homework, be you!


Too often, we lose ourselves in the roles that we


play as though those roles are more important. This is,


without question, untrue!


You are magnificent! Share that with your kids! They


deserve it!


Rule Number 2 of Successful Parenting


2 - Be consistent


If you establish a rule. It’s always a rule. If you


establish a reward. It’s always a reward. If you say you


are going to be there. Be there.


I'm sure this isn't the first time you've heard this tip.


But why? Why is being consistent so important?


It's because consistency establishes two very


important things for your kids.


The first is…. TRUST


Annie sitting on couch with arms around her son, Chase who is holding a panda bear.

A child learns how to trust and they learn how to not


trust. We are addressing Step 2 Define the Rules and


Step 3 Master Your Craft here. These are two of the


steps in any area of life that will help us create a life


filled with confidence, order, and effortlessness...we call this artistry!


Knowing the rules helps us win when we play


games. It is the same in being a successful parent. If


your kids know the rules, they learn that if they follow


them they can trust that for the most part life will go as


scheduled. If they follow the rules of riding a bike, they


trust they will be safe. If they follow the rules about


phone usage or computer time, then they can trust that


they will earn the right to do those things again. Living


a life without rules might sound fun but in the end, we


realize that there is no game to be won and what is


created is lost time, upset, and chaos.


The second is….HOW TO PREDICT


So many kids are nervous simply because they can’t


predict anything. Everything feels so random in life and


this causes a feeling of being unsettled and nervous.


When you are consistent, your kids come to


understand what is expected in life. Knowing what is


expected in life creates an opportunity for kids to be


able to predict what’s coming. If they break the rules


they know there will be consequences. If they do great


things, they also know there will be consequences;


good ones!


Prediction is also important because it allows your


child to learn the skills they need to make choices. And


we all know that choices are what creates their future.



a green sign that reads, "choice" pointing to the left and below it is a red sign that reads, "choice" pointing to the right.  The signs are on a pole in front of a d house with with a white window and blue shutters. A flower box with pink flowers is below the window.


Think about how you use your ability to predict to


make good choices to keep your kids safe.You know


every Thursday the bigger kids are at the park and they


are rowdier than you like, so you choose not to take the


kids to the park on Thursdays. You are able to do that


because you are able to predict the schedule of the


older kids.


We don’t often think about these types of things but


in the end, those parents who seem to have it all


together know that successful parenting depends on


them.


Let’s wrap it up!


So, how do these two rules make our lives better


and more organized so we can be the parents we know


we can be?


The more you follow these 2 rules for successful


parenting, the more stable your household becomes.


Why? Because you CREATED the stability, the trust


and the confidence for your kids. : )


The more a child trusts you, the more they can trust


themselves. The more they trust themselves, the more


they can make good choices. The more they make


good choices, the calmer they become, hence the


calmer your household becomes and the more you can


be that parent who seems to have it all together! : )


By remembering to be there as you AND by being


consistent, you are doing the work on the front end so


your entire family can enjoy the time created, the calm,


and the stability on the backend. Everybody wins!


Being a parent is a sacred role that we all cherish.


It’s so much easier to be a parent when you remember


that you are what makes being their parent so special!


Remember, you can achieve artistry in any area of


life; including being a parent. If you do, that makes you


an artist! I see it.


If you're interested in finding out more about how to


be you : ) check out my online course, The Purpose of


Purpose! Put the driving force behind what makes you


beautiful, powerful, and valuable into words so you can


live the life you know you should!




With Great Love,

Annie


I'd love to know your tips!



What are you tips for successful parenting?

  • Write an answer

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Be sure to forward this post to your friends! I'd love to hear their tips as well!


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