The Ultimate Guide to Recovering from Disappointment
Updated: Mar 22
Have you ever had the wind knocked out of you?
You know, you were really working toward something or thought a relationship was going well and then suddenly it was over? Your relationship ended, you didn’t get the job or someone else won your award.
You were creating the future and you had it all worked out and it was glorious! This was it! Your big success!
And then Boom! The walls start tumbling down.
No fun, eh?
Well, let me ask you this?
How long did it take you to recover?
Days? Months? Years? Have you still not recovered from some major disappointment?
Let’s address this today and learn the Art of Bouncing Back.
These steps can be applied to broken, missed and failed attempts to get what you want - be it a partner, job or accolade.
STEP 1. Do not resist what is being said or alter the rejection to soften the blow. Hear exactly what is being said and see exactly what has been done.
“I don’t have time right now.” - They are not available.
“You are not qualified.” - You do not get hired.
“Your technique needs work.” - Someone else wins.
Do not alter this! You cannot change the outcome by softening it or trying to change it. This is the trap. You must be willing to see or hear exactly what is in front of you.
THIS IS THE DOOR TO FREEDOM.
Allow yourself to open it!
STEP 2. Make a list of what would be ideal for you and then go through it and identify where this particular relationship or opportunity did not align.
The focus here is to take control of the disappointment by being responsible.
You must be willing to accept responsibility for your part and allow the other party to be responsible for their part.
This step allows you to establish your own rules. These rules, simply put, are defining your integrity. What line you will not cross. What price you will not pay.
( I believe that was a quote from someone.- anybody know who said it?)
The inability to bounce back is never that you did something wrong or that you weren’t good enough. No!
If it didn’t work, there was something there that didn’t align - be it you or the other, and therefore it was never going to bring you the happiness, success, and fulfillment you are searching to achieve.
So maybe you made a mistake. It’s not the mistake that ended the relationship or opportunity, it was the inability to overcome the mistake. So please, don’t get stuck in the mistake! We all make them!
Let’s take a moment here to remember something important.
The end game is happiness, success, and fulfillment. Any relationship, be it work or love, must contribute towards this end in every aspect of our lives.
Even our ability to relax!
Okay. At this point, if you have not allowed yourself to let go of the disappointment, then you need to repeat the above two steps.
Go ahead. We’ll wait for you. We all want you to be happy!
STEP 3. Take a look at what you did right!
We never do this enough!
Acknowledge all the good because this is what you are taking with you into the future.
I was patient.
I worked hard.
I was committed.
I was loyal.
Excellent! Great job!
Do you feel it? Are you starting to bounce back?
Come on! Let’s keep going!
STEP 4. Ask yourself, “What is it about me that deserves the ideal relationship, job or accolade?” What have I done to deserve it? What more can I do?
Whoa! Let me sit down for this one!
That’s an amazing question!
What are you doing here?
You are refocusing your efforts. You are ACTIVELY engaging in creating a better you for a new game.
This is a big step. How do you do this?
You make a new list!
What can you work on (actively do) to set yourself up to get exactly what you want that will help you be happy, successful, and fulfilled?
Do you need to be more aware of the needs of others?
Do you need to be more upfront about what you want?
Do you need to be more organized?
Do you need to create new habits?
Do you need to put in more time?
Fantastic! You are officially in a better place now than you were before that darned disappointment. Truly! You are!
STEP 5. Grow from it. Be better. Apply what you have learned into your life.
Be more aware of others needs!
Be more upfront about what you want!
Be more organized!
Whatever it is, set yourself up better to achieve that ideal relationship, that perfect job, that accolade that validates your hard work.
I know the term, “Bouncing Back” is a bit deceiving. It sounds like it is a reaction with no effort on your part, but as you can see, it is actually a purposeful action.
It could take weeks or days or amazingly it could just take a few hours. Some people are so good at this that they can Bounce Back in minutes.
Those are the people who are truly moving closer to living the life they envisioned; a life filled with happiness, success, and fulfillment.
Be one of those people.
Create your life.
You Are An ARTIST.
I see it.
With Great love,
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